I'll Have What She's Having
by thearcherballet
Summary: As Lily and James entered "The Three Broomsticks", they noticed it was quite comfortable. Warm, welcoming, and the scent of the butterbeer and food was already making their stomachs rumble. It was not a date. Based on When Harry Met Sally's Famous Restaurant Scene.


As Lily and James entered "The Three Broomsticks", they noticed it was quite comfortable. Warm, welcoming, and the scent of the butterbeer and food was already making their stomachs rumble.

It was not a date.

She had repeated that when he picked her up at the school's entrance.

They both sat down and she smiled at him. The waiter passed by and greeted them, asking for their order. "Two VERY large butterbeers, please. And make them hot."

James nodded and as the waiter walked away, he smirked at Lily.

"What?" she asked as she lifted her eyebrows.

"Nothing… I'm just glad you agreed to go out with me," he shrugged.

"It's not a date."

"Yeah, sure, I never said date. We're two friends. Out." He smirked some more.

Lily rolled her eyes and looked around. They were sitting in the middle of the place, since all the booths were taken. A rather old witch was sitting next to them, talking to her husband. All of sudden she realized she was actually with James Potter. The James Potter. Out, with James Potter. Then, she started thinking about all the dates he has brought here. As a date. And then he would snog them.

"What do you normally do?" she blurted out, still not looking at him, feeling embarrassed. He looked at her curiously. "With your ex-dates, I mean."

"Well, how about you tell me what you think I do? With the dates, I mean," he smiled.

"One hears a lot of things," she brushed off. "That you take them here, snog them, maybe shag them and say 'thanks for the good time', and so on and so forth," Lily said as she smiled at him.

He sat back and exhaled, mussing his hair a bit as he did so. "Really?"

"Yeah, really."

"Well, I'll tell you one thing. There's always some truth to rumors."

"Like how you went out with Mimi Davis last year, took her to a secluded corner of the castle and then shagged her?"

"A bit true. It was a broom cupboard."

She now raised her eyebrows in a mixture of surprise and incredulity. "How about the thing with Mary?"

"Completely true."

"Seriously?!" Lily almost shouted in disgust. In that moment the waiter came with the butterbeers and he stopped when he heard Lily say this.

"Is this the right moment?" the waiter asked uncertainly.

"No, no! It's fine!" Lily rushed. She took her cup and took a sip, still looking at James as if she were sickened by him. "Thanks," she said without looking at the waiter, who didn't even bother hearing her as he strode to another table rather fast.

"Wait, what rumour did you hear about her and me?" James now asked cautiously.

She leaned into the table and whispered. "That you and her did it in one of the Herbology Greenhouses and you had just gotten a rare case of Chicken Pox."

He raised his hands and said, "Whoa! No. Not true. Definitely not. What the hell Evans? Who goes around saying these things?" He protested.

"The same girls you let down," she replied.

"It's not my fault they become attached quite easily!" James said as he drank.

Lily laughed a bit at that, but then looked at him slightly curious. "So what do you do with these women? You just get up out of bed and leave?"

"Sure," he shrugged, still drinking from his mug.

She narrowed her eyes in confusion at him. "Well explain to me how you do it. What do you say?"

"I just say I got a meeting, or practice, or like, go bird watching," James explained.

"You don't bird watch."

"But they don't know that, they just met me!" he protested.

She scoffed and took another drink. "That's disgusting."

He shrugged once more.

"You know, I'm so glad I never got involved with you," she said, cleaning up the table where she had spilt a bit of butterbeer. "I would have ended up as another girl you just up and leave at 3:00 in the morning and go clean your andirons, and you don't even have to do this because the fireplace is magical. Not that I would know this." At this Lily smiled sarcastically to him.

"Why are you getting so upset? This isn't about you!" he asked confused.

"Yes it is! You are a human affront to all women. And I'm a woman," she explained.

"Hey, I don't feel great about this, but I don't hear anyone complaining!" he said as he took another drink.

"Of course not, you're at the door too fast," Lily answered.

"I think they have an okay time," he shot back.

"How do you know?"

"When I know I know," he offered as explanation. Lily looked at him incredulously.

"Because they…" she made a gesture with her hands as a question.

"Yes, because they…" he said while repeating the same gesture she did.

"But how do you even know they…" doing the same gesture once more.

"What are you even saying? That they faked orgasms?" James said casually and mocking her, making random hand gestures.

She made a face that clearly said "It's possible" as she picked up her mug once more and took a large drink.

"Nah, you can't be serious." He laughed at her.

When Lily finished swallowing she said: "I'm just saying! Most women, or girls in this case, have faked it one time or another."

"Well, they haven't done so with me." He grinned triumphantly.

"How do you know?" she shot back in all seriousness, eager for an explanation.

"Because I know!" he said exasperated.

Lily sat back in silence for a second, examining him while he took another drink. "Oh," she finally said.

"What?"

"Oh, right. I totally forgot you're a man," she smacked her forehead with her hand dramatically.

"What was that supposed to mean?" James asked confused.

"Nothing," Lily said casually. "It's just that all men are sure it never happened to them and all women at one time or other have done it, so you do the math," she repeated.

James put down his mug while squinting at her. "You don't think I could tell the difference?"

She disagreed with her head, looking at him dead in the eye as she did so. "Nope," she said, making an effort of popping the word.

He scoffed as a response and took his mug, drinking once more, obviously dismissing her.

Lily narrowed her eyes at him. He really believes this! Well, I'll show him.

James thought he had imagined the sound, as he did so often when he thought of girls late at night. A moan. His eyes shot straight at Lily, to make sure she'd heard it too, but found himself looking at her questioningly.

Lily emitted another moan, rolling her eyes a bit, while she heaved her chest, imagining that a man was caressing her body. James saw that she had pressed her hands upon the table, as she moaned once more.

His eyes darted around the pub. A couple next to them had stopped their conversation to look at Lily.

"Are you okay?" James asked urgently.

He got another moan in response. "Ohh…" she said as she now closed her eyes.

Lily's hands now flew to her hair as she continued those frustratingly sexual sounds that came out of her mouth. Her nails were raking through her scalp as she continued on. "Oh, Merlin…" Lily said as she caressed her neck, throwing it back a bit as she sighed.

James put down the mug as his eyes were now glued on Lily.

"Oooh… Oh Merlin!" she said louder. He crossed his arms, raising his eyebrows as she did so.

Lily started moaning louder, grabbing and pulling her hair a bit harder than before, her breaths becoming heavier. Her hands travelled to her torso, caressing her bust as she sighed. "Ooh… Merlin…"

James noticed that everyone had stopped whatever they were doing to look at Lily, the Head Girl, the top-student of Seventh-Year at Hogwarts. But he still was looking at Lily intently.

"Oh yeah, right there," Lily gasped as she gripped the table.

If James thought she was being loud before, he was so wrong, because she started yelling and gasping. "Oh! Yes! Oh!"

Her breaths now probably could be heard from outside, but she kept going on, faster and louder, "Oh! Oh! Yes! Merlin, yes!"

She banged on the table as she yelled "Yes!" about 10 times, moving her head around wildly as she did so. James looked at the elderly witch that was beside them and nodded a bit flushed as his friend's screaming continued.

Her body jumped at the loudest "Yes!", her head bent back and her chest heaving heavily. Lily passed her right hand over her chest one last time, sliding a bit down the chair, as she breathed, "Oh, Merlin…"

And, as sudden as it had started, it ended, and she picked up her mug once more and took a drink, as if the ruckus she had done had not even happened. Lily smiled smugly at him, as she glanced around casually.

James just stared at her and gave a chuckle.

The waiter, who had stopped at the table with the elderly witch with the husband, felt as someone nudged him out of his stupor, staring intently at the elderly witch. The witch opened her mouth and said, "I'll have what she's having."

It was just so good to win.

* * *

A/N: Thanks to emotionofateaspoon on tumblr for inspiring me to write this. Review!


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